THE
COACHING PROGRAM

Learn The Shame-Free, Research-Informed Keys To Transform Chronic Parenting Challenges Into Connection + Growth


Do Your Kids:

Ignore or flat-out refuse your reasonable limits, requests and explanations?
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Refuse to get up, dressed and mobilized in the morning without total drama?
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Struggle to handle daily disappointment and frustration without melting down?
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Have an endless amount of energy that feels anxiety-inducing and exhausting?
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Lie, whine + complain about your family’s rules, safety plans and agreements?
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Get into uncomfortable situations at school and with family or strangers?
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Struggle to get along and play gently with siblings, friends, and even you?
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Challenge your patience, stamina and sanity….

OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER?

You’re not alone and it’s gonna be OK. As we like to remind ourselves and others here at Upbringing,
The Hard Stuff is the Good Stuff!

Well, neither of us realized how hard (and often) the stuff of parenting would actually be…  When the both of us welcomed our daughters over 8 years ago, we naively believed that we’d have this parenting thing down- we’d live our lives the same as we always had…. Just with an adorable baby along for the ride! Right? Oh, the naiveté… 

Little did we know that repetition (of hard, messy, tiring stuff) would become the new normal for us— regardless of how much we loved our babies, we often struggled to make magic out of the mundane caregiving routines of feed, play, sleep (on repeat)!

As our kids got older (and we added two boys to the mix), the monotonous aspects of parenting evolved into even trickier cycles of total MAYHEM: screaming, hitting, biting, throwing, crying, running away, aka RESISTANCE! We’d wing it as best we could, fall asleep, wake up, and the next day would be… Pretty much identical.

As we listened, learned and worked our way to become the speakers and parent coaches we are today, we heard similar experiences from our community and clients. Was there something wrong with their beloved and infuriating kids? Were they just plain doin’ parenting all wrong? Was their new life some sort of twisted cosmic joke?!

How could we break the cycle and experience a day that felt… DIFFERENT? A day that felt like we were in… CONTROL? A day where we…. ENJOYED OUR KIDS with less anxiety, frustration or overwhelm?

The helpless feeling of being “stuck” or “held prisoner” in a relentless cycle of drama with our beloved kids reminds us of one of our favorite movies: Groundhog Day.

It’s an early 90s classic starring Bill Murray who plays Phil Connors– a rude, egotistical weatherman who begrudgingly visits Punxsutawney to cover the annual Groundhog Day events. He somehow becomes trapped in time, re-living the same day over and over, on a loop!

At first it’s painful to watch as Phil rejects his nightmarish situation, then it grows more hilarious as he tries to “game” it, and the film ends with a touching twist as we witness the impressive transformation Phil undergoes in accepting his circumstances to forge a path to growth, joy and freedom. 

Over the years, the term “Groundhog Day” has become part of our cultural lexicon, meaning “a monotonous, unpleasant and repetitive situation.” Can you see where it kinda parallels those moments in parenting when we’re feeling out of synch with our kids and needing to break the cycle?

We share this movie not just because we’re 80s/90s film geeks, but because Groundhog Day actually details a road map to “the way out!” After growing through who knows how many identical days, Bill Murray’s character Phil ultimately ESCAPES the relentless cycle… Just not in the way you’d think, and not in the way most parents think they can, either. 

Rather than control and manipulate others or helplessly hide from his frustrating life, Phil realizes that he can work on his own mindset and approach to transcend the challenging loop he is stuck in… And he becomes the coolest, truest version of himself in the process. 

Phil discovers that the key to living a meaningful + joyous life isn’t outside of him– it’s accessed through his own inner growth. We believe that this SAME magic applies to overcoming our own chronic struggles as parents!

Bravely working on the HARD stuff of parenting transforms daily challenges into the GOOD stuff… Building skills and elevating our relationships for life.

Upbringing’s Coaching Program Offers:

LEARN HOW TO:

Reduce power struggles and find an easier flow as a family unit
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Decide when and how to set limits and boundaries with confidence
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Master critical self-regulation, mediation and communication skills
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Find natural consequences that help kids learn without coercion
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Establish family agreements for more collaboration and less chaos
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Approach conflict in creative ways that build skills and our relationship
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Reduce the shame, anxiety, frustration and helplessness you experience
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Feel less alone in challenges with your sensitive/strong-willed kid(s)

“From my heart, I can sincerely say that Upbringing is a one stop shop for ALL I’ll ever need to know about parenting. They’ve helped identify what to embody and model for my children, and they highlight what I can work on myself. Hannah & Kelty are accessible, gentle and brilliant.”

— Sarah, mother of two

WHAT TO EXPECT

  • SESSION 1

    THE WHY / WE CIRCLE UP to REFRAME YOUR BELIEFS

    We examine and reframe your culturally-conditioned beliefs about kids, parents and conflict– integrating your values and the child development research. We hold radical space for your dreams + daily challenges! Guided by Upbringing’s Conflict Revolution Model, we explore the ever-evolving circle that we can move through when drama arises with our kids, and we introduce a new parental role you can claim and shape as you go.

  • SESSION 2

    THE WHAT / WE CIRCLE IN to REINVENT YOUR APPROACH

    We introduce concrete, productive ways to show up + grow up in challenging moments with your kids, primarily by harnessing the power of connection over control. You learn to release the pressure to perform a “precise script” or to “respond perfectly” to your kids’ big feelings and challenging behaviors. Guided by Upbringing’s Improv Approach, we explore the six guiding principles that can help you enter into conflict with more calm and confidence.

  • SESSIONS 3+

    THE HOW / WE CIRCLE BACK to REVIEW YOUR PROGRESS

    The following sessions will apply all you’ve learned to the current parenting challenges affecting your family most. We help you create a customized plan for showing up before, during and after a challenge you’re committed to improving. Without shame, we help you imagine how you might change things up next time, and we make sure to leave enough space to celebrate your “wins” when daily drama begins to shift in productive, exciting ways!

If you’re feeling frustrated and helpless as a parent, we can help you break through the vicious cycle of conflict to the other side–  where connection, growth and joy await.

PARENTS ARE SAYING:

  • I don’t even know what to say, except to express my deepest thanks that the universe guided us to Hannah + Kelty and to Upbringing. A friend recommended one of the podcast episodes, and I contacted them immediately after listening for support with my four children. The coaching sessions we’ve had have been so reassuring and helpful. My husband and I LOVE the actionable advice and how they take the time to walk through specific scenarios w/ us. They’re so encouraging and non-judgmental. I have their info graphics posted all over the house, and there are a handful of coaching replays (mostly the ones about sibling conflict) I’ve listened to multiple times just to keep their voices in my brain.

    Molly- Mother of 5

  • I have enjoyed Upbringing’s coaching on many levels, as it has been extremely helpful in learning about, recognizing, and in reacting to my children in a completely different manner. The change in my house has been immense! Learning how to approach sibling conflict in a neutral way without shaming, blaming or making either child into a victim or aggressor has been life changing. The best part is seeing the relationship between my children blossom and having them enjoy playing with each other again. I'm so thankful I found Upbringing!

    Kim- Mother of 3

  • "The birth of our daughter rocked our 2.5 year old son’s world. He was having serious behavioral challenges that we had no idea how to navigate. We felt lost and fell into the default parenting style we'd been raised with. Unfortunately, it didn't change his behavior, and more importantly, it didn’t feel good to us. Hannah + Kelty helped us shift our perspective to understand what he was experiencing. They gave us realistic ideas to practice right away. Through several more sessions, we began to notice a major mindset shift in ourselves... Viewing our son’s behavior in a different light has been the single most impactful factor of our success, and it’s truly thanks to them.

    Abbey- Mother of 2

  • “Hannah + Kelty are my go-to resource for a parenting perspective shift. You know those moments when you know you aren't seeing the forest for the trees, you know there's a bigger picture you're missing, and that within the larger picture lies the way forward... but you just can't get there on your own? Without fail, Han and Kel take what seems like an utterly hopeless soup of big emotions and missteps and, with loving but firm guidance, reframe it into an actionable plan that actually makes some damn sense. Their wealth of fact-based knowledge, relentlessly curious minds, and reserves of kindness and compassion for both myself and my kids have gotten me through many a tough day, and made me a better parent without question.”

    Laine- Mother of Twins

  • “Hannah and Kelty have helped us so much! I always feel like they just 'get it' when I’m sharing our situation. I feel so safe and comfortable sharing our challenges. Rather than walking away from our coaching calls with a list of 'to dos', I leave coaching feeling empowered with a shift in my perspective, as well as some great practical tips, phrases and ideas. I always look forward to their coaching as I know that with the guidance of Hannah + Kelty I will feel like a better, more confident parent and build the connection with my children that I hoped for. We can't thank them enough!”

    Alicia- Mother of 2

  • “I have had the pleasure of coaching with Hannah + Kelty and would highly recommend them. Time spent with them is like a breath of fresh air amidst my daily challenges as a parent. Their coaching has never felt like "one more thing I have on my plate" or "one more parenting book I should read". They've jumped into my unique family and come alongside me, supporting my individuality as a parent / person. Their guidance has helped me ask myself questions about why I do certain things, and reflect on some of my big-picture goals for my family. I've realized empowering steps I can take to learn who my children are, supporting them when they struggle! Time spent with Hannah + Kelty has allowed me to become a self- observer at a whole new level. “

    Leslie- Mother of 4

  • I was told how hard it is to raise kids, but I was never told how much of it involved my own self-improvement… When I approached Hannah and Kelty, I had been getting frustrated, angry and blowing up at my kids– I didn’t like who I was as a parent, or the effect it was having on them. Working with Hannah and Kelty really helped to bring my beliefs and actions into perspective. Now I view the frustrating behaviors that once triggered me as less of a burden and more of an opportunity for me to welcome the chaos and just help my kids. Not only am I a better parent today, but I feel more confident and comfortable as a person as well!

    Andy- Father of 2

 FAQs

  • Our work at Upbringing serves folks who care for kids of ALL ages, though the majority of our coaching and membership community is made up of families with kids between 1 and 12. That said, it’s never too early or too late to grow up alongside your child!

  • We want to accommodate unique time zones and busy schedules, which is why we allow you to book each call based on your family’s needs. You can book all of the sessions ahead of time via our Acuity calendar, or you are free to book each as you go! We are working parents who understand that life can get wild sometimes, so we offer flexible rescheduling as needed.

  • Our coaching sessions will be held for 60 minutes, approximately twice per month, and in between sessions we offer the availability of directly + privately sharing with us your ongoing experience, via the free video sharing app Marco Polo.

    You can send a video our way to ask a question, share a win and document your progress in real time rather than wait (and try to remember!) for our upcoming call. We send brief video responses back your way with validation and perspective. You can learn more about Marco Polo HERE.

  • There will be no traditional homework assigned during our calls! That said, the work you’ll be doing at home will simply be PRACTICING what we’ve discussed in our coaching session, as well as observing how things are generally feeling + going before our next call. You can also participate in the aforementioned Collective Community or send a Marco Polo our way anytime!

  • Absolutely! Co-parent/s and caregiver/s may join you on our coaching calls or they can listen to or watch the replay that we send you after our session.

  • We understand the hesitancy to jump into a 3-month coaching program without meeting us first, sharing about yourself and learning what our time would involve! This is why we offer a free strategy session beforehand to learn about your family and explore our work / the program.

    If, at the end of the call, you feel like working together would be beneficial to your family, sign on up! And if you aren’t quite sure you’re ready to commit yet, we offer other ideas and resources that can support you in smaller (but significant) ways.

    We encourage you to think about parent coaching like you would any wellness or personal growth endeavor: just one session at the gym does not build a strong body. Just one cooking class does not teach culinary mastery. Just one therapy session does not heal trauma.

    Doing this work requires a personal commitment, ongoing practice at home and scheduled sessions with us that lovingly guide you to the change you seek for your family. Many parents who work with us will even sign on for a second and third round of coaching– as they begin to see results they want to KEEP THE MAGIC GOING!

Transformative family change begins with the belief that the HARD stuff can become the GOOD stuff.

WE CAN HELP YOU WITH:

Sibling Challenges

When kids struggle to share with others, include others, play gently with others, lose gracefully (jealousy, competitiveness, etc) 

Transition Challenges

When kids struggle with one parent or prefer another, to go to school, to daycare, to leave the park, friends’ house, to end screen / play time

Big Feeling Challenges

When kids struggle with a limit that’s been set, to accept reality without sadness / disappointment, to calm down, to be brave

Verbal Challenges

When kids struggle to use a quiet voice, to use kind words, to say what they need directly, to tell the truth or show accountability

Health Challenges

When kids struggle with hair brushing, washing / toothbrushing / nail clipping / bathing, dressing, diapering + toileting, doctor visits + medicine

Physical Challenges

When kids struggle to use gentle hands with others, to respect the home, to follow safety / rules / personal boundaries

Mealtime Challenges

When kids struggle to come to the table or stay at the table, to eat or try foods, to eat politely, to moderate snacks + sweets

Bedtime Challenges

When kids struggle with the bedtime routine, to stay in their bed / room, with falling asleep alone or sticking to agreements or limits

Personal Challenges

When partners aren’t on board, when you struggle to set limits + boundaries without threats, yelling, shame + punishments

“Not only am I a better parent now, but I feel more confident and comfortable as a person as well. Having Upbringing in my corner through hard times has been life-saving. We could all use a little advice + support, even if we don’t realize it, and Hannah and Kelty made the process so pleasant I ask myself: “Why didn’t I do this earlier?!”

— Andy, father of 2

PARENTS WE WORK WITH:

Struggle to respond calmly to the chronic and stressful ups and downs of their kids’ sibling conflict, big feelings and wild behaviors 
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Realize that using control-based discipline like threats, shame and consequences feels shitty and usually makes things worse
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Wish they could hold personal boundaries and set loving limits with their kids from a place of clarity, connection and consistency
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Want to spend the precious (and lo-o-ng) time they share with their kids feeling less stress and shame and more confidence and joy
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Need to explain or justify their parenting approach to family and friends who judge it as “permissive” or “a woo-woo trend”
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Are beginning to recognize and heal from childhood trauma, codependency, perfectionism and past institutional wounds
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Dream of raising confident, joyful, resilient kids who won’t just survive the world that lies ahead, but who will thrive within and positively shape it
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Are committed to the process of reframing their beliefs and reinventing their approach, which may feel strange and uncomfortable

Are you motivated to transform your present “Groundhog Day” into a future full of growth, connection and joy?

We’re here to support you.

Parenting was never meant to be done alone— or perfectly. We are here to honor your strengths, hold your challenges, and co-create a safe, nurturing space to reclaim the compassion, curiosity and creativity that is already within you.

If you’re ready to reframe your beliefs, reinvent your approach and set your family up with adaptive tools and secure relationships for the long run, we can’t wait to meet you!

We’re all growing up together,

Hannah & Kelty